When I first started crocheting, I had no idea what I was doing, I didn't know the stitches, my tension was horrible and if asked how many stitches I had crocheted I would have been like "...Uh...what??"
So my first step was learning the basic stitches. You know, getting familiar with the the how. Then I figured out how to count stitches...hard...but not impossible. The worst part about doing that was that my stitches were so tight, that there were barely any spaces in between the stitches to count. So I began working on a cloth, trying very hard to not pull hard on my yarn. But it just made loose spots and tight spots and I was just so frustrated, why could I not get the tension right??
I'll tell you this, until you have done the stitch plenty of times, your muscles will not remember what to do. It's not enough to know in your brain, which step you are on now. Your hands have to know the next steps in order for the finished piece to come out right. Be patient with yourself, its going to take repetition, and perhaps some frustration before your muscles know how tight is just right.
If you are just starting, perhaps you have never crocheted anything yet, then listen to those making written tutorials or videos when they say "Chain a ton of stitches. Don't do anything else, seriously." They know what they are talking about. The more you do the first few simple stitches the more your muscles will begin to remember what to do and you will begin to be able to relax while you are crocheting.
Now thousands and thousands of stitches after I first picked up my crochet hook, I can crochet and talk, watch a video, or watch the kids play. It's soothing and therapeutic, and I don't have to think about each stitch. If you are getting frustrated, just know that it is normal. A few hundred stitches from now your tension will be improved as your muscles start to remember what to do. :)
Thanks for joining us for crocheting tips,